My Biggest Regret Before Becoming Sober

Addiction and feelings of regret often go hand in hand. Whether regret stems from past actions or words or missed opportunities, it’s a very real and normal emotion for many people within recovery. But past wrongs should never define your present. Just ask these top five addiction bloggers, who have worked to learn from and let go of regret to strengthen their sobriety today. In the words of American composer and playwright Jonathan Larson, “Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.”

Amy Dresner, writer and Addiction.com blogger
Sobriety date: Jan. 2, 2013
My biggest regret: “I don’t really believe in regret; I can’t afford to. It’s a wasted emotion. There are no ‘do-overs’ in life. Of course, I have some remorse but in the end I did the best I could with the wisdom I had and the person I was at that time. The only redemption is learning from whatever you wished you had done differently and behaving in a new way going forward.”

amy dresner

Kelly Fitzgerald

Kelly Fitzgerald, blogger at The Sober Señorita and Addiction.com
Sobriety date: May 7, 2013
My biggest regret: “I feel like I lost a lot of time. I wasted a lot of time drinking and doing drugs. I was involved in so much useless drama. I regret not trying sobriety sooner!”

Marilyn Spiller, blogger at Waking Up the Ghost and Addiction.com
Sobriety date: July 28, 2013
My biggest regret: “At the tail end of my tenure as a drinker, I lived on a small island in the Bahamas (my favorite place on Earth). Because of the ghastly choices I made while drunk, I lost my house and things became so dire. I knew if I didn’t leave, I would die. I regret not being able to return, and I regret that my island paradise has become a fearful memory for me — a trigger so powerful that I’m afraid to go back.”

Marilyn Spiller

Megan Peters

Megan Peters, Addiction.com blogger and blogger at CrazyBananas.com
Sobriety date: April 16, 2013
My biggest regret: “Numbing through my kids’ younger years. They were 2 and 6 when I quit drinking, and I’m grateful I stopped when they were little. My son doesn’t remember me drinking at all, and my daughter barely remembers … but still, I feel like I missed out on some beautiful times because even though I was there, I wasn’t fully present.”

Michael D., “Recovering From Recovery” and Addiction.com blogger
Sobriety date: March 2007
My biggest regret: “That I waited until I was 40 to really stop. I had many attempts at abstinence, which only lasted a while [and] then I’d end up in a mess again. My mother never saw me achieve long-term sobriety, and I regret that. I wasted a lot of time drinking and taking drugs. It was fun for a while but became a serious problem that held me back in my life.”

 michael-d

Read other sober blogger advice stories:My Best Tip for Sticking with Recovery,” “What I Wish I’d Known When I First Got Sober,” “My Best Tip for Dealing With Cravings,” “I Knew I’d Hit Rock Bottom When…” and “The Best Piece of Advice I Ever Got About Recovery.”

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